Kalau.

Kalau rindu aku pada engkau yang semakin lama semakin banyak ni boleh nampak, mungkin dah lebih tinggi dari gunung kinabalu.

*Type text "selamat malam kesayangan" then hantar dekat number sendiri. Bangun esok pagi baca dengan riang.

Tidak.

"Apa yang kau dapat gambarkan tentang hari ini?"

'Perpisahan. Genggaman tangan yang sengaja kita lepaskan atau cara baru untuk sebuah selamat tinggal".

Hakikat rasa.

Masih lagi berlawan bersama arus,
Masih lagi menentang apa yang harus.

Pasak.

"Kenapa kau tak lelah menunggu di sini? Kau tunggu siapa?"

"Dia. Kesayangan aku. Mungkin dia akan datang di sini mencari aku dan aku, perlu ada."

Patah.

Ada satu masa nanti kau akan rasa bahu kau seakan mahu patah, kerana mengendong satu perkara yang tersangat berat, rindu.

Cliche.

Rindu ada kalanya hadir dalam sifat merimaskan. Laksana tabiat menjengkelkan yang cuba dibuang tapi kau tau ia mengertikan diri kau sebenar.

Morning thought.

I'm sorry if I couldn't make you happy.. I know that i’m nothing special, but i hope you won’t replace me..

Senyum itu.

Literally waiting for that smile. Again. Maybe she will and maybe she won't. what I can guarantee is, this love won't fade away.

Sentiasa.

Selamat malam kesayangan. Untuk hari ini dan seterusnya.

Killing me softly.

It hurts when you miss someone that doesn't miss you.

6.04 pm

You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why

Everything you touch surely dies

Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same old empty feeling in your heart

Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep

But never to touch and never to keep

"Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep."

Mental games.

Couldn't sleep tonight, drag me to the mental games. Yeah, I'm Libra's baby and I over-everything. Leading me to downfall lately, over-thinking. 

 I remember months ago, my friend once told me, no matter how, that person will always remain as her first love. I din believe it.

But now on, I started to realize, how hard I try to fit in, I just gonna lose the battle. Yes, "nobody can replace" and I won't try to take that place. No I'm not givin up, just live my life with all I've got. Still got her as my sister. Isn't that bad right :)

Flaw.

Bila aku gagal menyedari kesilapan aku telah menyelubungi keseluruhan hidup aku, dan bila kau kata semua kesilapan tue telah menyusahkan kau. Yang kau tak mampu tolerate against it, dan sebenarnya kau dah menyerah, bila mana saat aku sedar aku telah pun menyerahkan seluruhnya, jauh lebih awal.

Mungkin aku tak pernah faham dan mensyukuri sebuah nikmat yang dikurniakan sampailah sekarang nikmat itu telah ditarik. Salah satu sebab tangan aku yang kau pegang, kau lepaskan.

....

Will you be there when I need u most...

Hurt.

I hurt you.. Didn't I.?? I Hurt you and I don't know why..

Woke up each morning with empty feeling inside.. I realize im not supposed to being this hard.. Cz i know you are here.. Yeah you are right, I can't get enough.. Maybe bcz im scared there will be somebody gonna take that place.. It won't happen right.. pretty sure :)

Maaf.

Maaf. Kehilangan senyuman untuk sekian kalinya.

Dadah.

After quite some time, gua berjaya tinggalkan pengambilan caffeine for almost three weeks. Percubaan yang berhasil dengan jayanya. Tapi today gua ternoda dek LA coffee haaa such a crap. So untuk hilangkan kesan, gua minum milo bebanyak. Hope gua dapat tidur yang sangat berkualiti.

Gua pernah ter'addict' dengan caffeine nie setahun lepas, kengkonon sebagai ubat stress. Caffeine nie ibarat dadah, bertindak sebagai stimulant tapi if diambil berlebihan boleh stimulates stress hormones yang menyebabkan peningkatan anxiety dan paling buat gua tension, insomnia. Berapa lama gua berjaga malam, did nothing. At last gua sedar yang benda alah nie bukan hilangkan stress tapi menambah tension yang sedia ada. Stay awake at night, over-thinking then siangnya letih tak bermaya.

Frankly speaking, caffeine ialah celaka yang maha. Tapi still, gua mengidam untuk americano coffee. Well, celaka always addictive right.

Courage.

"I've always longed for courage. The courage to go to her and speak. The courage to tell her it was she whom I loved and ask her forgiveness for whatever I did."

One last breakfast.

what more do you want to hear from me?
is there anything you wish to see?
a joke? a laugh? a smile? a cry?
a scream? a song? a lullaby?

see i know we are not who we were
i live in denial, remember?
so please don't ask me to open my eyes
don't wanna wake up and realize--

the honeymoon's over
that i should better
be mature.

i'm sorry i do not know what to say
do understand i'm breaking, but hey
when you tell me that you are leaving
don't think i did not see it coming

see, of course i saw we no longer
having stuff we enjoy together
but can we play along our part
and not parade this change of heart?

are you really sure
that we off better
and over?

what more can i say when you wish to leave today
i wont break down now and burst
but --
would you like to have one last breakfast?

Suatu Pernah - Fynn Jamal.

habis sudah madah, tak ada satu pun yang tertinggal, setiapnya telah kau ambil dan terus kau jual.
seolah tak pernah memakna apa, seolah tak pernah kau inginkannya, seolah—tak pernah...

dikutipku bila sudi, di bila tidak, dibiar mati.
dan lebih menyakitkan—ku tetap tunggu di tepi jalan.
seperti tak pernah ku ada harga, seperti tak pernah kita bersama, seperti tak pernah kau mahu aku,
--tak pernah rindu--tak pernah rayu.

terlebur hancur, kebal rusukku.
berkecai sepai, terpecah belah.
terima kasih atas ajarmu—--cinta tak wujud--ah, tak pernah.
dan dengarkan jeritku, jujur tak terfitnah,
kau hanya bagiku—suatu yang pernah.

takkan ada apa yang mampu untuk buat kau pulang.
bila sudah tiada rasa—bikinlah apa, tetap kau terbang.
takkanku pujuk kau jangan pergi,takkan ku minta kau fikir lagi.
takkan ku paksa renung semula, takkan ku suruh apa-apa.
takkan ku izin tubuh dibuka, takkan ku pamer reput di dada.
takkan ku rebah, takkan ku goyah, takkan ku biar tubuh didarah.